Three Definitive Ways You Can Become Better Leader And Career Developer Today

By Sarah Feely

I was recently invited to speak at an event hosted by the Winter Park Institute, the third in a three-part series focused on leadership and community.

The series opened with Condoleezza Rice, and so naturally, I was asked to bookend the speaker lineup…I kid.

The night brought together leaders committed to shaping healthier, more compassionate communities and workplaces, and my remarks were followed by a panel of extraordinary women leaders who shared stories of growth, triumph, leadership, and lessons learned throughout their careers. The panel featured Dr. Georgia Lorenz, President of Seminole State College, Nekeshia Woods, Managing Director of Parkway Venture Capital, and Wendy Walker, former CEO of Leadership Florida.

My message that evening, and the one I hope resonates beyond that room, is age- and stage-agnostic. Whether you are an emerging leader looking to grow and develop or a seasoned leader ready to give back and elevate others, this is a call to action.

Compassionate leadership is rooted in an action-oriented approach towards others. Beyond sympathy, which is feeling for someone, and empathy, which is feeling with someone, compassion, by definition, is feeling with someone and taking action to prevent or alleviate suffering

There are three critical roles in the world of work that we can all play to create a compassionate leadership movement. A movement that needs to happen to change the world of work for people as we know it: Coach, Mentor, Sponsor.

We all need to assume these three very distinct roles in our work lives:

1. Coaching builds capability.
2. Mentorship provides guidance.
3. Sponsorship creates opportunity.

Or put another way:

Coaches IMPROVE. They expand capability and performance.
Mentors GUIDE. They share their stories and provide direction.
Sponsors ELEVATE. They use their influence to support advancement.

These are some of the most powerful levers we have to shape not just performance, but people’s trajectories. But first, important context for why these roles are so pivotal.

I came from a sports background and eventually played college basketball. And I learned important lessons early in life:
• I’m a horribly sore loser.
• No matter how advanced you get in an area of mastery, fundamentals will always remain fundamental and crucial.
• You put your head down. You work hard–every day. Every practice. Every liner. You show up to the game prepared. There’s a scoreboard. You either win… or you lose. Pretty clear-cut. And over time, the better team usually wins. Maybe you have an off night. But in a seven-game series, the better team advances. Simple. Clear. Fair.

I took that same mentality into my career.

Put your head down. Work hard. Deliver value. Be an asset. The assumption is that if you perform, your career will progress. But here’s what I and many others get wrong. The workplace does not have such a clear and fair scoreboard.While work can feel like a team sport at times, the metaphor breaks, and most noticeably for:
• women
• underrepresented minority groups
• and even introverts

Because hard work and performance do not always translate into an upward career trajectory In fact, we know they don’t. Thanks to decades of social science research, we actually know what drives career growth. And one of the greatest predictors of upward trajectory is social capital: mentorship, sponsorship, networks, and visibility. These are the things that, when all things are equal, make or break someone’s career growth.

Here’s where the data gets interesting. One distinction matters most in the research: mentorship versus sponsorship. A mentor guides you and talks to you. A sponsor talks about you—in rooms where you’re not—and opens doors. And there’s a really clear gender gap. Women are more likely to have mentors than men, but far less likely to have sponsors. So we’ve built systems that provide women with guidance but do not help them advance equally.

Let’s take a sports metaphor. Two equally talented players. They both get great coaching, work hard, and deliver equally in practice.  One sits on the bench when it’s game time. The other gets a lot of minutes, game-time development, and maybe the opportunity to take the game-winning shot a few times.

Who gets noticed over time?
Who gets recruited to play at the next level?
Who gets promoted?

Career growth is not just about how hard you work. It’s about how connected you are and how intentionally you navigate your path. So what can we do about this? How can each of us help address this phenomenon? Whether you’re at an earlier stage of your career looking to grow and develop, or at a point in your life and career where you can give back to the development of others, there are ways we can all focus on coaching, mentorship, and sponsorship.

Compassionate Coaching

Leaders: don’t just manage people; coach them. Early talent: find a compassionate coach and be coachable. A manager is accountable for your results today. A coach is invested in your growth tomorrow.At Compassionate Leaders Circle, we teach emerging and current leaders how to become compassionate coaches, and our coaching recipe is:
• 60% listening
• 30% skillful questions
• 10% support

That’s a lot more listening than talking. And the key is great questions—not veiled suggestions posing as questions.

Not:
“Have you thought about…?”
or
“Why’d you do it like that?”

If you’re in a senior role, ask yourself: is this interaction helping someone execute the task at hand, or is it about growing capability? It’s the difference between marking up someone’s work with the proverbial red pen, handing it back, and saying “fix it”—execution. Or sitting with them and asking them to walk you through their thought process in a compassionate and supportive manner—capability-building. Most leaders work in execution mode.

A way to build capability:  “Walk me through your thinking.”

But alas, coaching always takes two to tango. For those of you who want to grow in your career, you must be open to coaching. Elite performers everywhere have coaches, except, historically, in corporate environments.

Steph Curry works on his elbow alignment when he’s gassed in the fourth quarter
Rory McIlroy works on the slightest degree of his club face.
Olympic sprinters obsess over milliseconds of ground contact time.

Coaching is requisite for improvement. It is also a sign of care. You must receive it as such.

Mentorship

The next action for each of us is to find and become a mentor. No matter your age or stage, you can become a mentor and benefit from mentorship. Again, a mentor is someone who guides and provides direction.

My 70-year-old pastor has a 90-year-old spiritual mentor.
My 60-year-old aunt has a 25-year-old tech mentor.

This is an age-agnostic message.

In the workplace, mentorship is strongly linked to:
• higher job satisfaction (Smet, 2025; Park & Choi, 2025; Martina, 2025)
• greater organizational commitment
• lower turnover
• higher performance and income

And a good mentor relationship is not a transaction, but a relationship. Much like good marriage advice, it only works when there’s the right fit, trust, and mutual investment. Take the time to find the right mentoring relationship—one that feels authentic and fits. There are many fish in the sea. So don’t just find a mentor—find the right one.

Sponsorship

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. If nothing else, let us all commit to seeking sponsorship. Sponsors elevate. They use their influence to position others for advancement. They advocate for mobility. And it is the one relationship that truly moves the ball up the court when it comes to helping someone’s trajectory.

The data shows:
• Mentorship is not the same as sponsorship and is not enough for upward movement.
• Women and minorities receive less of it.
• People are more likely to sponsor those who look like them. Not always. There are absolutely exceptions. But it is still the norm.

So if you’re early in your career, I challenge you to actively seek a sponsor. And if you’re later in your career, take the leap from being a great mentor to becoming a sponsor. Sponsor the quiet introvert who always delivers. A woman. A minority. Someone who looks different from you. There is definitely skin in the game for a sponsor. It can feel scary and take courage to put yourself out there as a sponsor. But taking the leap can change someone’s entire trajectory.

To my compassionate leaders out there, I am speaking to you. Take action to better yourself and others. 

Coach and build capability.
Mentor and provide support and direction.
Sponsor and create opportunity.

There may not be a scoreboard in our careers. But there are rooms. And doors that can be opened for others. Places where trajectories and lives are changed. Whose life will you change? If you want to learn more about building leadership capacity, contact me here.