Netflix Series Adolescence Offers Adults A Profound And Painful Wake-Up Call Leading To Opening Up Communication

By Laurel Donnellan and Marietta Bolster (Originally published at Forbes.com)

The recent Netflix limited series, Adolescence, was moving and disturbing as I expanded beyond working with adults and now support teens in developing compassionate leadership skills. It is a masterpiece of filming technique that offers brilliant acting and a gripping fictitious plot based on the harsh realities of being young in an often violent and always social media-centric world.  The four-part drama centers on a 13-year-old boy accused of murdering a classmate and offers a profound and painful, albeit artistic, wake-up call to all compassionate educators, parents, and guardians who want to make life better for teens (and all of us). 

The Digital Landscape and Compassionate Communication

One of the series’ most compelling themes is the impact of online environments on teenage behavior. Adolescence sheds light on how digital interactions can escalate conflicts and influence decision-making among youths. This narrative underscores that parents must openly engage with their children about their online experiences. By fostering an environment where teens feel comfortable discussing their digital interactions, parents can (hopefully) guide them toward responsible and mindful use of technology. Throughout the series, the strained relationship between father and son highlights the repercussions of family communication breakdowns. The story emphasizes the importance of curious listening—a principle that resonates deeply with the tenets of compassionate leadership. By prioritizing empathy and open communication, parents can build trust and provide the support their teenagers need during tumultuous times.

Recognizing Collective Responsibility and Collective Hope 

Co-creator Jack Thorne suggests that societal factors play a significant role in youth violence, stating, "Maybe we’re all accountable." This perspective encourages parents to look beyond individual actions and consider the broader societal influences affecting their children. Engaging with community resources, participating in school activities, and staying informed about local issues can empower parents to contribute positively to their children's environments. 

Research shows that when kids have a strong sense of purpose, they’re less likely to feel lost or develop screen addictions. Helping them discover meaningful goals boosts self-control, reduces unhealthy habits, and fosters long-term well-being. (American Psychiatric Association, December 2023) Adolescence does not shy away from depicting the harsh realities of teenage life but also offers narratives of resilience and redemption. These story arcs serve as reminders that, despite challenges, there is always room for growth and healing. Parents can draw inspiration from these portrayals, understanding that their support and guidance are pivotal in helping their teens navigate adversity and emerge stronger.

As part of these Forbes posts, I interview Dr. Nick Kardaras, a digital addiction expert, author, and activist, about how we can help students move away from social media to envision a better future for themselves and the world. Here is the evergreen advice he offered for parents and guardians wanting to shift things at home: 

1.   Start an open-hearted discussion about what teens value. Remember, different generations have very different experiences that can lead to personal likes and dislikes—finding a teen’s passions can be like digging for gold and takes patience. For example, you can ask, "What are your favorite things to watch online and why?" or "What are the things that you love to do when you have free time?" 

2.   Ask about current events. First, explore their ideas and opinions about current events, and then help them develop critical thinking by respectfully challenging their views about various topics (the Socratic method) to reach a deeper, more nuanced understanding.

3.   Encourage experimentation with creativity. Support trying out many options, including drawing, painting, writing, acting, singing, cooking, crafts, or entrepreneurship. Remember, just because you like something does not mean your teens will; give them options and help them develop new pathways to innovation offline.  

4.   Explore their beliefs on spirituality. Kardaras starts these discussions with one question: "What do you think happens to a person when they die?" This always leads to a meaningful exploration of whatever spiritual (or non-spiritual) ontological paradigm a person embraces. 

5.   Help them to be in nature as much as possible, without devices.

Purpose as Prevention: Empowering Youth Through Self-Discovery

Although the series does not offer easy resolutions, it does create space for resilience, redemption, and agency. These themes align with our mission at Compassionate Leaders Circle, where we help young people build inner clarity, confidence, and connection to purpose.

“When students understand their values and interests, they make more confident, intentional, and compassionate choices,” says Marietta Bolster, Director of Education Partnerships at CLC. “Our programs help young people discover their strengths and turn them into a meaningful path forward—in school and beyond.”

Through Book Lab, Dream Lab, and Purpose Lab, we support youth in articulating what matters to them—and why. These initiatives are grounded in the belief that emotional intelligence and purpose are not luxuries but necessities for thriving in today's world. When young people can name their values and claim their voice, they are more likely to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and vision. 

Adolescence serves as a compelling narrative that resonates with the complexities of modern teenage life. It offers valuable insights into their children's challenges and underscores the importance of compassionate engagement. By embracing open communication, emphasizing listening, recognizing collective responsibility, and fostering hope,  all adults can effectively support teens through the intricate journey of adolescence. 

Originally published at Forbes.com