Which Life Goals Make You Happier?

By Sarah Feely

What if I told you there’s a surprisingly accurate way to predict which of your life’s goals will make you happier? That the path to a more fulfilling life isn’t just about more status, earning more money, or adding another accolade to your résumé—but something deeper, something more aligned with who you are at your core?

That something is intrinsic motivators. Guiding values that give life purpose. Intrinsic motivators provide as much fulfillment in their pursuit as they do in reaching the finish line.

We spend so much of our lives chasing: get the grade, graduate, land the job, buy the house, raise the kids, acquire nice things, retire comfortably. These aren’t bad goals. But often, they’re handed to us by a culture that values productivity over passion, achievement over alignment. And rarely—if ever—are we taught to stop and ask: What matters to me?

My Story

I didn’t really explore that question until I was 32 and in the midst of what I now lovingly call my “first life crisis.”I had spent an entire lifetime lauded for my “goal orientation.” Always striving for the next thing. It’s like I spent my life signing up for marathons…hating the first 26.1 miles, but chasing the thrill of the final .1 and finish line. Not a way to live.

Now, to be very clear, Achievement isn’t bad. Money, mastery, accomplishment— all can be wonderful things. But it’s when we chase the external rewards or EXTRINSIC motivators— praise, status, proving I was capable, money for the sake of more money — at the expense of joy along the way. What I missed were the intrinsic motivators — things that gave me joy, meaning, purpose — your deeper why—the things at my heart’s center. I realized I had built a life around goals I thought I should have, without ever questioning if they aligned with what I truly value. That’s when I started exploring the science—and the practice—of purpose.

So, What Is Purpose?

Purpose is your “why.”

At Compassionate Leaders Circle, we define purpose as: A declaration of contribution based on your values. What do you want to bring to the world? Or do in this world, based on what matters most to you? Purpose is the thread that ties your values, intrinsic motivators, strengths, and passions together in service of something bigger than yourself. Purpose isn’t fixed. It evolves as you do. And it’s something we actively have to mine for. It doesn’t arrive (at least not often) in a magical, revelatory moment—it unfolds over time, through self-reflection, connection, and courage.

Why Purpose Leads to Greater Life Satisfaction

When we align our goals with our values and purpose, we experience a kind of inner congruence—a sense that we’re living in integrity. And that integrity is powerful. Psychological research shows that people who lead with purpose tend to experience greater well-being, resilience, and even physical health. They’re more likely to be engaged at work, to persist through challenges, and to feel that their life matters. 

Why Do We Chase the “Wrong” Goals?

Blame evolution. Early humans had to pursue resources and social standing to survive. These pursuits were so crucial for survival that our brains developed a powerful motivator: dopamine. Dopamine gets a bad rap with screens and social media, but it’s the chemical that fuels our drive toward goals. Dopamine spikes when we achieve — but it’s even stronger when we’re pursuing something.

You know that feeling when you write something on a list just to check it off? That’s dopamine. But here’s the problem: Dopamine doesn’t differentiate between chasing goals that drain you, or provide fleeting moments of happiness,… and those rooted in meaning that fill you up and provide sustained satisfaction.

Most of us aren’t taught to live in pursuit of purpose. We’re taught to perform and chase success as it’s been narrowly defined by school, family, or society. We check the boxes before we ever ask,  “What do I actually want?”

How to Begin Living More Purposefully

The good news? You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You just need to notice. Begin by asking yourself:

1. What activities make me feel most alive?
2. What values do I want my life to reflect?
3. What breaks my heart—and what can I do about it?
4. When have I felt proud of the impact I made?

Then, take one step. Align one small decision with your purpose. Say yes to something that lights you up. Say no to something that drains you. Reach out to someone whose work inspires you. Explore that curiosity you’ve been ignoring. Purpose isn’t a destination. It’s a compass. And each time we align with it, even just a little, we point ourselves toward greater satisfaction and meaning.

So Here’s My Invitation to You

Take a few quiet moments this week to reflect. Ask not just “What do I want to do?” but “Why do I want to do it?” And then, let that answer guide your next step. Because when we lead with purpose, we don’t just do more—we become more aligned, more fulfilled, and more ourselves.

If you want to learn more about how we can help you find more purpose in life and at work, look at our Purpose Lab Programs, and if you are intrigued, do not hesitate to set up a chat with me.